Unlike technical talk, words don't come easy to me when I want to share feelings, emotions, or what happens in my mind (that is an euphemism). 
Most of the time they don't come at all.
They say it's because my brain is different. I have a neurodevelopmental disorder, and that made my whole life very, very, VERY complicated and quite unpleasant.
Whatever the reason actually is, the fact remains: verbal or written communication, other than sharing technical stuff of factual information, is really a struggle. But here is photography. I can translate what I can't say into images.
To me, it's often self evident: I see in my photos what I mean to share (at least when I know what I mean to share). What is less self evident is how other people receive and interpret that message.
That is why my old forest is cursed: I have no way to efficiently share what I want to share. Either I just can't put it in words or I can put it in an image but can't be sure the message will be well received.
Still, it is my only way. Even if you don't get my "message", maybe you will feel something, anything, when looking at my photos. That is maybe already a good thing. Something is most often better than nothing, and indifference against art is maybe the worst that can happen to a creative mind.
Sometimes, I'm not even totally self aware of what I want to put in my photos. Struggling with interpreting my own feelings and emotions is part of the curse. I just have the urge to put in a photo a very clear mental image, but the meaning of that mental image is unclear to me.
It's just so complicated. It's my cursed old forest.

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I love heat. I'm never more happy than when temperature is 100. I love the sun, the sensation of heat on my skin. Maybe I should live permanently in a place like Death Valley. It's pretty boring from a photographer point of view, but at least climate is just right for me.
Iphone Xs in the Grand canyon
Phone can't take good pictures. Or can they?
Into my darkness
From the book "Into my darkness".
Colors of a ghost town
It is hard for me to imagine people are actually living here. All I see is a desolated dirty hell hole. I don't see people, I don't see traffic, I don't even see a fucking stray cat or a bird. There is silence, there is no life, there are rotten derelict things.It is a ghost town.
Ice and Frost
Winter is here. With the cold, first snow, and lot of ice and frost. I'm focusing here on the tiny ice crystals I can see eraly in the morning.
Lost in a golden forest
I am less and less interested in reality. My photos are less and less meant to depict that reality. I want, I need, my photos to depict what I see, what I feel, and that is not what is commonly accepted as reality. This old golden forest may not be old, or golden, or even a forest. And that doesn't matter.
An aimless walk a Sunday morning
Goethe said "The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone". I walked alone, in the hope of finding, if not beauty, something that would catch my eye. Updated from "An aimless walk a sunday morning in a dead city,"
Morning walk in a quiet world of trees
In a world on the verge of collapse, I took the Nikon D2Xs, the Tokina 10-24 and a graduated filter for a walk.
One tree Six photos
Simple and straightforward.
Monsters in the woods
The world is full of invisible monsters. These are the monsters I see when I walk in the woods.
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