Unlike technical talk, words don't come easy to me when I want to share feelings, emotions, or what happens in my mind (that is an euphemism). 
Most of the time they don't come at all.
They say it's because my brain is different. I have a neurodevelopmental disorder, and that made my whole life very, very, VERY complicated and quite unpleasant.
Whatever the reason actually is, the fact remains: verbal or written communication, other than sharing technical stuff of factual information, is really a struggle. But here is photography. I can translate what I can't say into images.
To me, it's often self evident: I see in my photos what I mean to share (at least when I know what I mean to share). What is less self evident is how other people receive and interpret that message.
That is why my old forest is cursed: I have no way to efficiently share what I want to share. Either I just can't put it in words or I can put it in an image but can't be sure the message will be well received.
Still, it is my only way. Even if you don't get my "message", maybe you will feel something, anything, when looking at my photos. That is maybe already a good thing. Something is most often better than nothing, and indifference against art is maybe the worst that can happen to a creative mind.
Sometimes, I'm not even totally self aware of what I want to put in my photos. Struggling with interpreting my own feelings and emotions is part of the curse. I just have the urge to put in a photo a very clear mental image, but the meaning of that mental image is unclear to me.
It's just so complicated. It's my cursed old forest.

You may also like

I love heat. I'm never more happy than when temperature is 100. I love the sun, the sensation of heat on my skin. Maybe I should live permanently in a place like Death Valley. It's pretty boring from a photographer point of view, but at least climate is just right for me.
Emulating the Tri-X
The T-max 3200 was one of my favorite film, but the TRi-X 400 always was my absolute favorite: I could shoot it from 400 to 3200 (and sometimes more) and always loved the rendering and grain quality.
Night walk
Insomnia, boredom, loaded battery, unusual warm weather and the certainty of being totally alone during a stupid pandemic: that can only end in a night walk shooting stuff.
An eerie walk, sand in the sky
Sometimes, the winds carry sand from the Sahara far away.
A walk among the tombstones in black and white
An abandonned old cemetery in the moutain. These are the black and white images.
Colors of a ghost town
It is hard for me to imagine people are actually living here. All I see is a desolated dirty hell hole. I don't see people, I don't see traffic, I don't even see a fucking stray cat or a bird. There is silence, there is no life, there are rotten derelict things.It is a ghost town.
A lonely walk in a dead town
Confinement or no confinement? A dead city is a dead city. Walking here is like walking in a graveyard, tough without the feeling of being in a sacred place.
Into my darkness
From the book "Into my darkness".
Lost in a golden forest
I am less and less interested in reality. My photos are less and less meant to depict that reality. I want, I need, my photos to depict what I see, what I feel, and that is not what is commonly accepted as reality. This old golden forest may not be old, or golden, or even a forest. And that doesn't matter.
A walk among the tombstones in color
An abandonned old cemetery in the moutain. Autumn colors.
Back to Top