Unlike technical talk, words don't come easy to me when I want to share feelings, emotions, or what happens in my mind (that is an euphemism). 
Most of the time they don't come at all.
They say it's because my brain is different. I have a neurodevelopmental disorder, and that made my whole life very, very, VERY complicated and quite unpleasant.
Whatever the reason actually is, the fact remains: verbal or written communication, other than sharing technical stuff of factual information, is really a struggle. But here is photography. I can translate what I can't say into images.
To me, it's often self evident: I see in my photos what I mean to share (at least when I know what I mean to share). What is less self evident is how other people receive and interpret that message.
That is why my old forest is cursed: I have no way to efficiently share what I want to share. Either I just can't put it in words or I can put it in an image but can't be sure the message will be well received.
Still, it is my only way. Even if you don't get my "message", maybe you will feel something, anything, when looking at my photos. That is maybe already a good thing. Something is most often better than nothing, and indifference against art is maybe the worst that can happen to a creative mind.
Sometimes, I'm not even totally self aware of what I want to put in my photos. Struggling with interpreting my own feelings and emotions is part of the curse. I just have the urge to put in a photo a very clear mental image, but the meaning of that mental image is unclear to me.
It's just so complicated. It's my cursed old forest.

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Colors of a ghost town
2020
It is hard for me to imagine people are actually living here. All I see is a desolated dirty hell hole. I don't see people, I don't see traffic, I don't even see a fucking stray cat or a bird. There is silence, there is no life, there are rotten derelict things.It is a ghost town.
An aimless walk a Sunday morning
2020
Goethe said "The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone". I walked alone, in the hope of finding, if not beauty, something that would catch my eye. Updated from "An aimless walk a sunday morning in a dead city,"
Night walk
2020
Insomnia, boredom, loaded battery, unusual warm weather and the certainty of being totally alone during a stupid pandemic: that can only end in a night walk shooting stuff.
Morning walk in a quiet world of trees
2022
In a world on the verge of collapse, I took the Nikon D2Xs, the Tokina 10-24 and a graduated filter for a walk.
A walk among the tombstones in black and white
2021
An abandonned old cemetery in the moutain. These are the black and white images.
Into my darkness
2021
From the book "Into my darkness".
Heat
2020
I love heat. I'm never more happy than when temperature is 100. I love the sun, the sensation of heat on my skin. Maybe I should live permanently in a place like Death Valley. It's pretty boring from a photographer point of view, but at least climate is just right for me.
A foggy park in infrared
2021
Fog, cold, bad light... There are good chances I will be alone in the park. I like that. Infrared might seem to be the best choice with this kind of light.
Lost in a golden forest
2020
I am less and less interested in reality. My photos are less and less meant to depict that reality. I want, I need, my photos to depict what I see, what I feel, and that is not what is commonly accepted as reality. This old golden forest may not be old, or golden, or even a forest. And that doesn't matter.
A walk among the tombstones in color
2021
An abandonned old cemetery in the moutain. Autumn colors.
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